Tag: coaching

  • The Swing Thought

    Golfers know about the swing thought. It’s that pithy, focused nugget that helps you achieve a positive outcome. A proper golf swing is one of the most difficult accomplishments in sport. There are so many things that can go wrong. And if you start thinking about them at the wrong time, like in the middle of your swing, you’ll miss the ball completely. By focusing on just one major success factor during the swing, you can avoid many troubles. For instance, my tendency has always been to look up to see where the ball is going. This causes me to lift up just enough so that my club hits the ball high, and sometimes misses it altogether, rather than keeping my posture and head aligned to follow through and finish the swing appropriately. I need to keep my head down and my butt out to maintain the proper angle of my spine, or I’ll have a frustrating and embarrassing experience on the tee. But I’ve found that if I consciously think “head down, butt out” during the swing, I can hit the ball. Sometimes even reasonably well. I don’t always remember it, but the more I can make it my mantra, or “swing thought”, the better I’ll play.

    The swing thought is also useful beyond the golf course. For instance, my “head down, butt out” example was a great way to avoid trouble during the months leading up to my daughter’s recent wedding.

    Joking aside, the swing thought is a way to keep people attuned to the basics that will help them be successful over time. In coaching, we often counsel leaders not to try to do everything at once. If they can focus on just one behavior that needs to change or one thing that needs to happen, their chances for success will be increased. If one is overly introverted, the swing thought “louder” during an important meeting may help him to speak up rather than take a back seat to the more vocal and gregarious extraverts in the room. And someone who usually jumps in with a solution too quickly, shutting off discussion, may keep the swing thought “listen” in mind during that same meeting.

    The swing thought is a practical application of the Buddhist meditation concept of mindfulness. This has to do with focusing intently on the present and paying attention to a specific thought or purpose. But there’s nothing mystical about it. It’s a manifestation of how we’re wired. There is an increasing body of scientific research showing the value of mindfulness in the management of stress, pain, depression and anxiety, and many athletic coaches use it to help athletes focus on the present and consequently perform at their best. If we change the way we think, we can change the way we feel and consequently the way we behave. So it behooves us to choose the thoughts, and swing thoughts, that will help us improve.

    Now about that slice…

    Hodge Golson

  • Influence or De-Rail: Active Leadership 2

    Author’s Note — this is the second installment in a serialization of Active Leadership: A Blueprint for Succeeding and Making a Difference. Much of this material was presented in an earlier work, Influence for Impact. 

    — HLG

    Getting there: influence or derail

    Sam is an exceptionally competent analyst and team member. He came to the group several years ago with stellar academic credentials and a proven ability to get along with people. He is usually the best problem solver in the group. However, he has seen several peers get promoted recently. He has always had great reviews and encouragement from his managers, so he’s having a hard time understanding why people who are far less able appear to be getting quicker opportunities for advance­ment. He has always assumed that keeping his head down and doing great work will eventually get him recognized. He was taught not to brag or to toot his own horn. And he finds it difficult to ask for things or to draw attention to himself in general. He still feels deep down that his results, his willingness to share and his hard work will be rewarded. But he’s also starting to feel overlooked and left behind. He knows he’s the best quant in the unit. But he’ll have to admit that he would like to have the skills of persuasion he senses in some of his colleagues. On the other hand, he’s beginning to wonder if he wants to spend much more time in an organization that rewards such superficiality.

    Research and observation indicate that hard skills (quantitative, data-analytical, technical, specialized knowledge) are important for success early in a career; but that the soft skills (influence, relationship building, and political savoir-faire) are crucial for later success, especially in leadership. People who are rewarded for being the cleverest individual problem solvers tend to assume their good work speaks for them.

    We have conducted many thousands of psychological assessments for business clients since our founding as a professional firm over a quarter century ago. This has allowed us to develop an extensive database of scores, profiles, and characteristics of successful high-level people. Analysis of the profiles of several thousand successful people (MBAs from top-tier schools, people in fast-track developmental programs, COOs, CEOs and a wide variety of top executives in general) revealed con­sistent but rather surprising developmental themes.

    The most frequently mentioned suggestions for further growth and development of highly successful people fell into the following two related categories:

    • Influence and persuasion

    The shortcomings in this category include poor communication skills, tendencies to undersell, marginal self-presentation, introversion, shyness, lack of assertiveness, and so forth.

    • Interpersonal insensitivity

    The problems here have to do with being too dominant, intense, or impatient; tendencies to push people too hard; excessive competitiveness and a lack of political insight and sensitivity, among others.

    If this is true among exceptionally successful people, and among those seen as having high growth potential, the situation is even more acute with people in the ranks, with technologists, and with people early in their career trajectories. Here are two key thoughts to keep in mind for the rest of this discussion:

    • Remember, the world isn’t fair and doesn’t care about your success. If you don’t learn to increase your base of power, others will – and they won’t have your best interests at heart.
    • Brainpower and performance help you to gain power only up to a point. How you play your cards, and who you develop relationships with, are of equal or greater importance as you get closer to the top.

    To be able to influence others, you must have credibility. Credibility is a function of two primary factors: trust and expertise. These are the first two pillars of influence. The first two questions people ask, to decide if you are credible, are: “Do you know your stuff?” and, “Do you have my back?”

    In addition to the individual quality of credibility necessary for effective persuasion and influence, the fol­lowing goals are important to us:

    • Accuracy – We need to make sense of things, so we can know whether they present threats or offer advantages.
    • Affiliation – We want to associate with people we find attractive and helpful. We seek their approval and ac­ceptance.
    • Consistency – We need to maintain a positive self-image. This makes us strive for consistency, and we’ll go to great lengths to appear consistent to ourselves and to others.

    These pervasive human motivations lead naturally to the fundamental laws of influence. A simple listing of them, however, clearly doesn’t do them justice. Books have been written on each of them. These laws are based on a tremendous amount of academic research, but they also can be verified by direct observation.

    The Law of Authority

    We have a strong drive to seek out higher sources of opinion, direction, and advice. People want to comply with and follow authority. People in positions of authority are seen as credible. If you’re not in a position of legitimate hierarchical authority, you should at least project the right image. Dressing similarly to those in power increases the perception of your authority, and we’re strongly influenced by people who project optimism, confidence, and a positive attitude. Learn to project power, not only in your speech and mannerisms, but also in your dress. It’s a learnable skill. Image be­comes reality over time. Establish your credentials to emphasize your expertise, or show that a respected and credentialed source agrees with your position. Don’t forget, though, that there’s no substitute for actually being a good source of information and help for others. Over time, this is what establishes a reputation for expertise, not merely the appearance of authority.

    The Law of Trust

    This is one of the two key components of credibility. Once you lose trust, it can never fully be regained. Every time you make a deposit to your trust asset base, it grows; but once you make even a small withdrawal, the entire account is likely to be wiped out. The keys to establishing and maintaining trust are simple, obvious, and often overlooked. They include: always following through;  not taking credit where it’s not due;  never, ever, betraying a confidence; never overselling or exag­gerating; communicating as fully as possible when you have information that will affect others; and taking the first step by trusting that others will perform as expected.

    The Law of Liking

    Think of the most credible and persuasive people you know. If you make a list of their traits and characteris­tics, close to the top will be something to the effect that they are likable. We’re strongly influenced by people we like. This means that you need to develop a social net­work within the context of your work environ­ment. We like people who are similar to us, who make us feel good, who like us, who are optimistic and cheerful, and who are attractive but not perfect. The classic read­ing in this field is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. His original principles have been validated by later re­search, and are for the most part as applicable now as they were 80 years ago.

    The Law of Reciprocity

    We strive to keep things in balance. If someone does us a favor, no matter how small, we feel obliged, and are likely to help them out in some way. This is a fundamental law that is at the core of our society, but it is also at the foundation of all free market transactions. This is why cultists give you a free flower or keychain on the street, and why charities include holiday stamps or coins with their solicitations. Such “free gifts” dramatically increase donations. We operate by implicit rules of balance and fair play. With apologies to President Kennedy: ask not what this person can do for you, ask what you can do for this person.

    The Law of Consistency

    We are driven to maintain a positive image of ourselves. To do that, we need to appear consistent to ourselves. This is the basis of the foot-in-the-door technique, and the reason salespeople try to get us to commit publicly that we’ll buy a certain item “if they can only find one”, before miraculously discovering exactly the model we previously thought was unavailable. Once we commit to a small action or agree with some part of a position, we’re much more likely to agree with larger requests or stronger positions in the same direction. We go to great lengths to maintain our self-image of consistency and to reduce the dissonance we feel when we act inconsistent­ly. This is the basis for all rationalization.

    The Law of Scarcity

    We’re strongly attracted to things that are rare, scarce, and limited. Less is more. If we perceive that something might become unavailable, or be in limited supply, its value goes up for us. This is the basis for bidding frenzies at auctions, popular toy shortages at Christmas, specula­tive investment bubbles, snob appeal, and many other examples of seemingly strange human behavior. We are more strongly motivated to avoid losing something than we are by the chance to gain something.

    The Law of Social Comparison

    We take our cues about how to think and act from other people. Psychologist Leon Festinger coined the term social comparison in his research on the factors involved in attitude change and rationalization. This is a fundamen­tal principle: we’re strongly influenced by the groups to which we belong, and by those to which we’d like to belong. We look to others to figure out how we should interpret and respond to new or ambiguous in­formation. We care what the Joneses think, and about what they do. We stop to look up when we see people in the street looking up. We’re more likely to tip the bar­tender if she’s salted the tip jar.

    Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer notes that the ability to influence others is crucial to success in a career, and in gaining personal power. His book Power: Why Some People Have It – and Others Don’t offers useful insights about power in organizations – how to gain it and how to hold on to it once you have it. It’s based on real world observation and research, not on theory, abstraction, or political correctness. As such, some of his observations could be at odds with what you see in the popular litera­ture and press. In fact, he warns that most leadership literature can be hazardous to your health, because it doesn’t reflect the realities of organizational life.

    Some people won’t like his observations, but having done a bit of research in this area myself, I see very little to quibble about. Pfeffer makes the case for trying to ex­pand your base of power because many good things come from it, not the least of which are higher levels of physical health and well-being. Then there’s the money, he notes, not entirely tongue-in-cheek. Listed below are some of the keys to success along the path to power.

    • You need to be noticed, and need to rise above the organizational noise. Make sure people know about your successes. Find a gap and fill it. Reach out and create something. Don’t be afraid to break the rules when you’re just starting out – you’ll be noticed and thought of as innovative. Don’t be stupid about it, though; and if you can define the criteria for success, you’ll have the ad­vantage.
    • Be sure you know what success looks like in your boss’s eyes … and in those of his or her boss.
    • Become adept at some Dale Carnegie skills, and learn to make people feel good about themselves (it’ll make them feel better about you).
    • Flattery works. Even when people realize you’re doing it. What’s more, research shows that more flattery works even better. But be careful here. If you’re too blatant, you’ll develop a reputation as a brown-noser.
    • If you have the chance, pick a department or group with high influence and power. However, sometimes the path to the top can be found through indirect routes, if you develop your alliances and nodes of information, and if you learn to use them well.
    • Ask for stuff. We enjoy helping others. It makes us feel powerful, and it flatters to be asked. We also like those we help. This is where the laws of reciprocity and con­sistency kick in.
    • Networking is important. It is a learned skill, even if you’re painfully shy.
    • Learn to fight and don’t take things personally. Do everything you can to make relationships work, and to be liked. Sometimes, however, you must simply work effectively with a few people you really dislike. Tolerate and become comfortable with conflict; but don’t be a jerk.
    • Get over yourself. Yes, some of this might sound manipulative, and you could be uncomfortable asking for things directly. In reality, though, people aren’t paying much attention to you. They’re generally wrapped up in themselves, so don’t worry too much about how things look. But of course you must protect your reputation for being ethical. You need to build trust for full success, so be careful of anything that could taint your reputation.
    • When you’re at the top, stay vigilant. It’s not para­noia – they really are after you. But stay humble – you are replaceable, and you need to know when to quit. Hope­fully, it will be on your own terms.

    All of these principles work, and they all can be mis­used. If you use them to manipulate or exploit, people quickly figure it out. If people think you’re trying to manipulate them, you immediately lose their trust, the absolute cornerstone of credibility.

    Although the principles of gaining power can allow manipulative and callous people to rise, those traits are also associated with an eventual loss of power. One of the keys to understanding and dealing with the struggle for power is to lose your misguided faith that this is a just world. The good guys don’t always win, and the bad guys sometimes do. Perhaps they often do: but if they’ve made too many enemies on the way up, even if they bring in their staunch loyalists, people find creative ways to even the score. The world might not be just, but people have long memories and they hold grudges. They like to balance things out however they can. If you don’t have much explicit power, you’re likely to find underground ways to resist people you don’t like or trust.

    The core principles of influence – credibility (expertise and trustworthiness) and likability – are im­portant factors that allow a person to hold on to power over time. The most effective leaders realize that power can corrupt even the most well intentioned person, and that you don’t get good feedback when you’re in a position of power. Effective leadership in a high-level position requires the humility to seek out good data. You never know as much as you think you do – and most of the stuff people tell you is filtered. Even though you might realize they’re trying to flatter you, you’re still only human and still subject to believing your own good press. So it helps to have people who can give accurate feedback, unvarnished data, and seasoned opinion. That kind of information usually only comes from people who don’t have a dog in the fight – people who know you in a dif­ferent context, who knew you in previous lives, or who aren’t inside your organization.

    Key concepts

    The laws of influence stem from our basic human goals to understand what is happening, to associate with people of value to us, and to see ourselves as consistent. People who understand and use laws of influence appropriately and effectively – without being malicious or manipulative – are likely to be much more successful.

     

     

  • Intro and Chapter One: Active Leadership

    I’ll upload excerpts from the book periodically. So if you’re patient … and really frugal, stay tuned. Or you could just go out and, you know, actually buy a copy (hey, the paper version is only $7.99 — the Kindle is really cheap at $2.99).

    ——————————————————————————————————————————————————–

     

    Introduction

     

    Do you want to be a successful leader? Then hire smart people who get along well with others, who do what they’re supposed to do, and who work hard. Then set a great example and reward the right behavior. Simple con­cepts: difficult execution.

    Not everybody wants to be top dog: and that’s fine and fortunate, but if you work in an organization, much of your life depends on what the top dog does, so you need to understand the world in which he or she lives.

    Some of this material is based on academic research. The rest is the result of practical observations and in­sights, gained over the course of a career in assessing, coaching, and consulting with top executives in some of the most successful organizations in the world.

    This is a practical roadmap of useful insights for any­one who works in organizations, especially those who must lead and manage. If you use these guidelines actively, you’ll be a more successful leader at any level. Leadership, however, is not about mechanically following a set of instructions to get people to do what you want. It’s about getting people to want to follow you. That’s more about who you are. And how you behave ultimately determines who you are. This blueprint describes the behavior of successful leaders and highlights some of the important concepts to consider in your leadership journey. It presents some of the realities you face, with practical suggestions for succeeding, and staying effective, in any leadership role.

     

    ONE

    Life’s tough: life at the top

     isn’t always easier

     

    John decided early in his career that he wanted to run an organization, or at least to be one of the senior decision-makers. Through a combination of diligent study, hard work, business acumen, interpersonal skill, and sometimes more than a little luck, he finds himself with a seat at the table quicker than he anticipated. He realizes that the top spot might not be in the cards, due to the relative youth of his CEO boss and his own runway. As his limo driver skillfully navigates around various bottlenecks on the way to the airport, he has a rare chance for reflection. Having just been instrumental in highly successful negotiations that will have a major positive impact on the company, he allows himself to feel a justly deserved sense of pride and accomplishment about his career. In reality, he is further along than he ever expected to be, and it’s nice to know that his family will be comfortable and secure no matter what might happen to him now. He enjoys his work and his life. With the maturity and insight that comes from successes and failures, he rarely has those Peggy Lee “Is That All There Is?” moments anymore; but still remembers some of the not-necessarily-pleasant surprises he encountered soon after his “arrival” as a senior leadership team executive.

     

    Unexpected consequences

    If you want to become a top executive, it might be nice to know what it’s like in that role before you get there. Forewarned is forearmed.

    Most executives are too busy trying to stay on top of the severe demands of their jobs to think about some of the unanticipated facts and phenomena of life in a key leadership position. Before embarking on this journey, you need to know yourself:  your strengths and limita­tions. And be careful what you wish for. There are real costs to gaining and maintaining power, so look at what life is really like at the top and prepare for it. The fol­lowing points describe some of the surprises typically hidden from view on the way up.

    The executive amplifier

    As you move up in an organizational hierarchy, your public organizational life becomes a product of sound bites. You don’t have time to build relationships throughout the organization as you move up. People can’t get to know you the way they did when they worked directly with you and saw you more often. So they decide what you’re like as a person and as a leader by what they see in short, infrequent samples of public behavior. And because what you do now can have a major impact on them, they read a great deal into your words and actions.

    If you make an effort to smile and to talk to people, you cultivate the image of being an approachable, con­cerned, and people-oriented leader. If you show no emotion, people see you as detached, or are likely to project things from their own backstories onto the blank screen you provide. If you scowl, snap at someone, or otherwise look unhappy, they see you as negative, irritable, and unfriendly. It only takes a few times, some­times just once, for the image to emerge and stick. Company cultures reflect shared values displayed through the behavior of the leaders of the company. Much of a leader’s impact on the troops is through the symbolism of his or her behavior, even the little day-to-day things. Success requires managing the optics.

    The executive as rock star

    The larger your organization and the less often people see you, the more you become like a celebrity. Some people enjoy this, but many are surprised and uncom­fortable with it. Few anticipate the demands it places on them, or the downsides of the executive fishbowl. Charismatic rock star executives, who really enjoy this aspect of the role, tend to build personality-based cult followings. This doesn’t help the company over the long term. In fact, companies usually suffer in the market­place after the rock star leader has left.

    The executive as energy spark

    People look to the leader for their own inspiration and energy. Your job sometimes includes keeping the troops pumped when your own energy and attitude are waning. Providing the spark for others can drain your own re­sources, especially if you’re not a natural extravert. Extraverts typically recharge their batteries by contact with others, while introverts tend to renew their re­sources by having time to themselves.

    The cognitive elite

    There are plenty of smart people  to be found at all levels of most organizations. But, on average, executives score higher on standardized tests than do people at lower organizational levels. That’s often the reason they’re in the executive role – they’re good problem-solvers. This is not to imply that any one individual executive is brighter than any one individual from a lower level; but as a group, they perform better on measures of general mental ability than people in the supervisory or individual per­former roles.

    An unexpected phenomenon that emerges when there are many clever people at the top is the Apollo effect, described by psychologist Meredith Belbin from his experiences running large-scale management simulations in the UK and Australia. When he stacked the deck by concentrating a disproportionate number of exceptionally bright people on the same team, expecting them to outperform groups composed of a more random assortment of ability, he found that these “Apollo teams” always under-performed compared to the others. They suffered from too many ideas in these groups, too many clever people to find fault with those ideas, analysis paralysis, and too much intellectual arrogance and com­petitiveness. He observed that the most effective groups were those with a great deal of heterogeneity and variety in talents, traits, and aptitudes of their members. This is not to say that you shouldn’t hire smart people (more on that later), but you need to know how to manage them.

    The imposter phenomenon

    This term was coined by psychologist Pauline Clance, in her book of the same name. It refers to the feelings of inadequacy and guilt many successful people encounter because of, or in spite of, their accomplishments. The internal dialog goes something like, “I’m above average, but not particularly special. I’m not sure I really did any­thing to deserve being where I am, and I’m worried that people will figure it out. I sometimes feel like an imposter.” Most people have occasional feelings of inadequacy, but they derail you in a leadership role if you don’t manage them appropriately.

    The paradox of feedback

    The higher you go, the more you require information and feedback. But the higher you go, the less likely you are to get it. People are inclined to tell executives what they want to hear, not what they need to hear. They don’t get many honest reflections of how they really come across. Issues of power (this woman can fire me), politics (I think he’s a lousy leader but he sure responds to flattery), and socialization (kids don’t tell Dad what they really think), keep the executive from acquiring good information. In addition, some aspects of the executive personality interfere with the ability to hear bad news. Executives have been reinforced for knowing the answer and being strong in the face of op­position. A good source of unbiased critique is invaluable for a leader’s development.

    The executive as villain

    Many people assume that if you’re highly successful, you must have cheated. There is a media and entertainment industry bias against business people, especially those in large corporations. The “greed is good” stereotype colors the lens through which many people view the execu­tive suite, and allows politicians to manipulate public opinion. When a few crooks get caught, the press has a feeding frenzy, reinforcing that narrative. The widely shared bias in academia, entertainment, the media, and government is that if you’re in business, you need to be regulated or you’ll do bad things. And the “you didn’t do this yourself” denigration of success is more widely shared than you may imagine at first. Get used to it.

    High visibility but no one to talk to

    Lonely-at-the-top is a cliché, but it’s true. At each succes­sive level, the peer-group support network becomes progressively weaker. Executive group interactions are not typically characterized by openness and trust. Con­sequently, there’s little opportunity for the executive to relax and receive easy give-and-take inter­action, feed­back, and counsel more commonly found at lower organizational levels.

    Ambiguous or non-existent reinforcement

    At this level, outstanding performance is expected. The bar of expectations is raised with every success. Early in your career, you were recognized for your strong per­formance. Each time you are promoted, however, you’re judged by your peers, who were also selected into this faster lane because of their own strong performance. So at each level, you begin to look more and more like the pack. Everybody in the pool is a great swimmer.

    You’re expected to be successful, so no one’s going to notice unless your performance is not outstanding. Most top executives and CEOs provide inadequate reinforce­ment and supportive critique as a matter of course. If you don’t have a clear set of internal standards, and a pretty good sense of your performance against those standards, you’re likely to become anxious in the short haul, and miserable over time in high level roles.

    How to fail

    Knowing what it’s like at the top, to include the potential disappointments, warts, and blemishes, helps prepare you to deal with the difficulties and obstacles you’ll encounter. Knowing what not to do is sometimes as im­portant as learning what to do. This will help you avoid unnecessary heartburn and glitches along the way.

    One of the earliest studies of the causes of executive failure was published by psychologists Morgan McCall and Michael Lombardo. They identified a number of fatal flaws that lead to a person’s eventual derailment on the way up the organizational ladder. As I recall, their initial research sampled males only. However, this seems equally applicable to women. Listed below are the causes of executive failure they identified.

    • Insensitivity to others and abrasiveness
    • Coolness, aloofness or arrogance
    • Betrayal of trust
    • Overly-developed ambition
    • Specific business-related performance problems
    • Over-managing, resulting in the inability to delegate or to build a team
    • The inability to hire good people
    • The inability to think strategically
    • The inability to adapt to bosses with different styles
    • Over-dependence upon advocates or mentors

    It might seem odd to start out on a somewhat negative note, but none of this is meant to scare or de­moralize you. A realistic job preview is one of the best ways to help ensure a good fit. So if the be-careful-what-you-wish-for message hasn’t given you pause, if you’re prepared to avoid things that derail people, if you still want to move up in the organization, and if you feel that the rewards of leadership are worth the sacrifices, keep reading. Next are some first-things-first observations to consider.

    Key concepts

    Life in the executive suite can be quite rewarding, but it also has its surprises, not all of which are pleasant. Being in a high visibility position means you must deal with some of the unanticipated and potentially negative side effects of success. You need to be prepared for them and for some of the pitfalls on the way up.

     

     — Hodge Golson

  • Pathways to Power: Getting There and Thriving

    A recent book by Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer offers many insights about power in organizations: how to gain it and how to hold on to it once you have it. It’s based on real world observation and research, not on theory, abstraction or political correctness. As such, some of his observations may be at odds with what you see in the popular literature and press. And, actually, he warns that most of the leadership literature can be hazardous to your health because it doesn’t reflect the realities of organizational life. Some people won’t like his observations, but having done a bit of research in this area myself, I see very little to quibble about.  A recent review of this work in The Economist suggested that this is one of the very few books on management and leadership that actually offer helpful advice.

    Pfeffer makes the case for trying to expand your base of power because many good things come from it, not the least of which are higher levels of physical health and wellbeing. And then there’s the money. Listed below are some of the keys to success along the path to power he presents in the book.

    • Remember, the world isn’t fair and doesn’t care about your success. If you don’t learn to increase your base of power, others will – and they won’t have your best interests at heart.
    • You need to get noticed and rise above the organizational noise.
    • Make sure people know about your successes. And if you can define the criteria for success, you’ll have the advantage.
    • Be sure you know what success looks like in your boss’s eyes…and in those of his/her boss.
    • Get good at some of the Dale Carnegie things and learn to make people feel good about themselves (it’ll make them feel better about you).
    • Flattery works. Even when people know you’re doing it. And more flattery works even better. Deal with it.
    • Tolerate and become comfortable with conflict. But don’t be a jerk.
    • Brainpower and performance will help you to gain power only up to a point. How you play your cards and who you develop relationships with are equally or more important as you get closer to the top.
    • If you have the chance, pick a department or group with high influence and power. However, sometimes the path to the top can be found through indirect routes if you develop your alliances nodes of information. And if you learn to use them well.
    • Ask for stuff. We enjoy helping others. It makes us feel powerful and it flatters us to be asked. And we like those we help.
    • Get over yourself. Yes, some of this may sound manipulative and you may be uncomfortable asking for things directly. But in reality, people aren’t paying much attention to you. They’re generally wrapped up in themselves, so don’t worry too much about how things look. But don’t be unethical. You need to build trust for full success, so be careful of anything that would taint your reputation.
    • Find a gap and fill it. Reach out and create something. Don’t be afraid to break the rules when you’re just starting out – you’ll get noticed and thought of as innovative. But don’t be stupid about it.
    • Networking is important. And it is a learned skill, even if you’re painfully shy. Again, get over yourself.
    • Learn to project power. Not only in your speech and mannerisms, but in your dress. It’s another learnable skill. Get some image coaching if you need it. You only get one chance for the first impression and you need to realize that image becomes reality over time.
    • Learn to fight and don’t take things personally. But do everything you can do to make relationships work. In fact, at a certain level, you will simply have to work effectively with some people you may really dislike.
    • Know yourself, your strengths and limits. And be careful what you wish for. There are real costs to gaining and maintaining power, so look at what life is really like at the top and prepare for it.
    • When you’re at the top, stay vigilant (it’s not paranoia – they really are after you) but stay humble (you are replaceable and you need to know when to quit, hopefully on your own terms).

    Although the principles of gaining power allow narcissists, psychopaths and Machiavellians to rise, those traits are also associated with an eventual loss of power. One of the keys to understanding and dealing with the struggle for power is to lose your misguided faith that this is a just world. The good guys don’t always win and the bad guys sometimes do. Maybe often do. But if they’ve made too many enemies on the way up, even if they bring in their staunch loyalists, people will find creative ways to even the score. These heads are indeed likely to be uneasy wearing the crown.  The world may not be just, but people have long memories and hold grudges. They like to balance things out however they can.  If you don’t have much power, you’re likely to find underground ways to resist people you don’t like or trust.

    The core principles of influence – credibility (expertise and trustworthiness) and likability – are important factors that allow a person to hold on to power over time. The most effective leaders realize that power can corrupt even the most well-intentioned person and that you don’t get good feedback when you’re in a position of power. Effective leadership in a high level position requires the humility to seek out good data. You never know as much as you think you do – and most of the stuff people tell you is filtered. They will flatter you and, even though you may realize it, you’re still human and still subject to believing your good press. So it helps to have people who can give accurate feedback, unvarnished data and reasoned opinion. That usually only comes from people who don’t have a dog in the fight – people who know you in a different context, who knew you in previous lives or who aren’t inside your organization.

    Power. It’s not just for a**holes anymore. Go for it.

    Hodge Golson